By Ellen Notbohm
This is a follow-up
to the extraordinarily well-received article
“10 Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew” that appeared in the
Fall/Winter 2005 issue of
Healing.
This time, Ellen Notbohm speaks to educators from the perspective of an autistic
child and explains the many sensory assaults experienced on a daily basis in the
typical classroom.
This information should have an impact on teachers, parents and anyone who
interacts with an autistic child.
1. Behavior is
communication. All behavior occurs for a
reason. It tells you, even when my words can’t, how I perceive what is happening
around me.
Negative behavior interferes with my learning process. But merely interrupting
these behaviors is not enough; teach me to exchange these behaviors with proper
alternatives so that real learning can flow.
Start by believing this: I truly do want to learn to interact appropriately. No
child wants the negative feedback we get from “bad” behavior. Negative behavior
usually
means I am overwhelmed by disordered sensory systems, cannot communicate my
wants or needs or don’t understand what is expected of me. Look beyond the
behavior to find the source of my resistance. Keep notes as to what happened
immediately before the behavior: people involved, time of day, activities,
settings.
Over time, a pattern may emerge.
2. Never assume anything.
Without factual backup, an assumption is only a guess. I may not know or
understand the rules. I may have heard the instructions
but not understood them. Maybe I knew it yesterday but can’t retrieve it today.
Ask yourself:
• Are you sure I really know how to do what is being asked of me? If I suddenly
need to run to the bathroom every time I’m asked to do a math sheet, maybe I
don’t know how or fear my effort will not be good enough. Stick with me through
enough repetitions of the task to where I feel competent. I may need more
practice to master tasks than other kids.
• Are you sure I actually know the rules? Do I understand the reason for the
rule (safety, economy, health)? Am I breaking the rule because there is an
underlying cause?
Maybe I pinched a snack out of my lunch bag early because I was worried about
finishing my science project, didn’t eat breakfast and am now famished.
3. Look for sensory
issues first. A lot of my resistant
behaviors come from sensory discomfort. One example is fluorescent lighting,
which has been shown
over and over again to be a major problem for children like me. The hum it
produces is very disturbing to my hypersensitive hearing, and the pulsing nature
of the
light can distort my visual perception, making objects in the room appear to be
in constant movement. An incandescent lamp on my desk will reduce the
flickering,
as will the new, natural light tubes. Or maybe I need to sit closer to you; I
don’t understand what you are saying because there are too many noises “in
between” –
that lawnmower outside the window, Jasmine whispering to Tanya, chairs
scraping, pencil sharpener grinding.
Ask the school occupational therapist for sensory-friendly ideas for the
classroom. It’s actually good for all kids, not just me.
4. Provide me a break to allow for
self-regulation before I need it. A quiet, carpeted corner of
the room with some pillows, books and headphones allows
me a place to go to re-group when I feel overwhelmed, but isn’t so far
physically removed that I won’t be able to rejoin the activity flow of the
classroom smoothly.
5. Tell me what you want me to do in
the positive rather than the imperative. “You left a mess by the
sink!” is merely a statement of fact to me. I’m not able
to infer that what you really mean is “Please rinse out your paint cup and put
the paper towels in the trash.” Don’t make me guess or have to figure out what I
should do.
6. Keep your expectations reasonable.
That all-school assembly with hundreds of kids packed into bleachers and some
guy droning on about the candy sale is
uncomfortable and meaningless to me. Maybe I’d be better off helping the school
secretary put together the newsletter.
7. Help me transition between
activities. It takes me a little longer to motor plan moving
from one activity to the next. Give me a five-minute warning and a two-minute
warning before an activity changes – and build a few extra minutes in on your
end to compensate. A simple clock face or timer on my desk gives me a visual cue
as to
the time of the next transition and helps me handle it more independently.
8. Don’t make a bad situation worse.
I know that, even though you are a mature adult, you can sometimes make bad
decisions in the heat of the moment. I truly don’t
mean to melt down, show anger or otherwise disrupt your classroom. You can help
me get over it more quickly by not responding with inflammatory behavior of your
own.
Beware of these responses that prolong rather than resolve a crisis:
• Raising pitch or volume of your voice. I hear the yelling and shrieking, but
not the words.
• Mocking or mimicking me. Sarcasm, insults or name-calling will not embarrass
me out of the behavior.
• Making unsubstantiated accusations
• Invoking a double standard
• Comparing me to a sibling or other student
• Bringing up previous or unrelated events
• Lumping me into a general category (“kids like you are all the same”).
9. Criticize gently. Be honest – how
good are you at accepting “constructive” criticism? The maturity
and self-confidence to be able to do that may be light
years beyond my abilities right now. Should you never correct me? Of course not.
But do it kindly, so that I actually hear you.
• Please! Never, ever try to impose discipline or correction when I am angry,
distraught, overstimulated, shut down, anxious or otherwise emotionally unable
to interact
with you.
• Again, remember that I will react as much, if not more, to the qualities of
your voice than to the actual words. I will hear the shouting and the annoyance,
but I will not
understand the words and therefore will not be able to figure out what I did
wrong. Speak in low tones and lower your body as well, so that you are
communicating on
my level rather than towering over me.
• Help me understand the inappropriate behavior in a supportive, problem-solving
way rather than punishing or scolding me. Help me pin down the feelings that
triggered
the behavior. I may say I was angry but maybe I was afraid, frustrated, sad or
jealous. Probe beyond my first response.
• Practice or role-play – show me – a better way to handle the situation next
time. A storyboard, photo essay or social story helps. Expect to role-play lots
over time.
There are no one-time fixes. And when I do get it right “next time,” tell me
right away.
• It helps me if you yourself are modeling proper behavior for responding to
criticism.
10. Offer real choices – and only real
choices. Don’t offer me a choice or ask a “Do you want…?”
question unless you are willing to accept “No” for an answer.
“No” may be my honest answer to “Do you want to read out loud now?” or “Would
you like to share paints with William?” It’s hard for me to trust you when
choices
are not really choices at all.
You take for granted the amazing number of choices you have on
a daily basis. You constantly choose one option over others knowing that both
having choices
and being able to choose provides you control over your life and future. For me,
choices are much more limited, which is why it can be harder to feel confident
about myself. Providing me with frequent choices helps me become more actively
engaged in everyday life.
• Whenever possible, offer a choice within a “have-to.” Rather than saying:
“Write your name and the date on the top of the page,” say: “Would you like to
write your
name first, or would you like to write the date first?” or “Which would you like
to write first, letters or numbers?” Follow by showing me: “See how Jason is
writing
his name on his paper?”
• Giving me choices helps me learn appropriate behavior, but I also need to
understand that there will be times when you can’t. When this happens, I won’t
get as
frustrated if I understand why:
• “I can’t give you a choice in this situation because it is dangerous. You
might get hurt.”
• “I can’t give you that choice because it would be bad for Danny” (have
negative effect on another child).
• “I give you lots of choices, but this time it needs to be an adult choice.”
The last word: believe.
That car guy Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or whether you
think you can’t, you are usually right.” Believe that you can
make a difference for me. It requires accommodation and adaptation, but autism
is an open-ended disability. There are no inherent upper limits on achievement.
I can sense far more than I can communicate, and the number one thing I can
sense is whether or not you think I “can do it.” Expect more and you will get
more.
Encourage me to be everything I can be, so that I can stay the course long after
I’ve left your classroom.
© 2006 Ellen Notbohm
Author’s note: When my
article “Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew” appeared in the
Fall 2005 issue of Healing,
I was overwhelmed
by the response. Reader after reader wrote to tell me that the piece should be
required reading for all social service workers, teachers and relatives of
children with autism. “The best thing I have yet read concerning autism,” said
one grandparent. “This is the most clearly written and wonderful description
of a child with the characteristics of autism... This article can begin to guide
(us) to an understanding of children who are different and the importance of
our reaction and response to every child,” said a school principal. I believe
the resonance of Ten Things came from the fact that the piece spoke with a
child’s voice, a voice not heard often enough. There is great need – and I hope,
great willingness – to understand the world as special needs children experience
it.