| In Perspective.....This
page is an outlet for comments and feedback. I encourage parents
to offer their views and personal perspectives on issues of Autism and
how it relates to their lives. I believe one of the greatest advantages you can give your child is to
determine your perspective on autism and how it will relate to your
child. You love your child more than anything and you would do
anything to help them to be happy and healthy.
We all want the same for our children - if we are good people.
We want them to grow up safe and surrounded by love, acceptance and
achieve a level of whatever 'success' means to each person.
When a parent receives a diagnosis of Autism, they may feel in some way
this universal goal for their child can no longer be achieved. We
simply know that is not true. Children who have Autism can not
only experience happy lives, they can be highly successful adults.
There is however an environmental factor - YOU. As their parent,
you are their model, their guide, their strength. If you raise
them to first see their limitations, they will learn to feel limited.
If you teach them a successful attitude, they will adopt an attitude of
success.
All parents are helping to form and shape their children into the
adults they will become. As a parent of a child with Autism, your
challenges might be a little greater - but so are the rewards.
The dictionary terms to define 'perspective' range from 'mental view or
outlook' to 'the ability to perceive things in their actual
interrelation or comparative importance." They are both
appropriate.
Will you allow your child to be defined by their autism or is it just a
part of them?
Do you accept that you have a child with autism or
are you still seeking new diagnoses and 'cures' hoping there has been an
error in their evaluation process? Hope is not a bad thing - it
will keep you going, but you must also live in the right now and allow
your child to experience complete acceptance of who they are now,
looking to all they can become.
Your perspective on autism and how
it will relate to your child will determine everything from the medical
treatment they receive to the way in which they think you view them.
Attitude should never be underestimated, especially in parents of
children with special needs.
Denial comes in many forms. It can be the parent who is not
willing to admit in any way that their child has autism. It is the
parent who claims to accept the diagnosis and does little or the parent
that nervously tries every
new treatment that comes along, dragging their child through all kinds
of unpleasant experiences.
For the child whose parent is not willing to accept their diagnosis, it
may also be interpreted as an unwillingness to also accept the child.
I am convinced that children of all developmental abilities can sense if
they are loved and accepted as they are or if there is a condition
involved. Some parents do not tell their child they have Autism
because there is no need, it is a condition they have, not who they are.
There comes a time as they mature when they must be told in the
simplest, kindest terms, about Autism. They may demand a reason
for why they must have OT each week or ST. If you prepare them
with correct, but positive definitions, they can digest them and share
them with curious friends, classmates and family members. This
gives them the power to determine what they have before someone bullies
them or teases them about Autism in a hurtful way that damages their
self-image.
Autistic children are some of the most genuinely sweet children you will
ever meet. For some it may mean getting past the sensory issues
such as tactile defensiveness, but inside, most do not seem to have the
ability to be genuinely hurtful, maybe this has something to do with the
'theory of mind' that they feel everyone sees the world exactly as them.
Having said that,
I think they are able to experience deep emotions like us all, and
also interpret a lack of acceptance of who they are.
For children with social 'quirks' which make them often stand out,
there is a great deal of acceptance and love required daily to reach a
level of comfort with this world we insist they must be part of, and
conform at least somewhat to.
When you hear the words, "your child has Autism," your world may seem
to stand still for a while. You may get angry at God, punch the
wall or ask "why me?" Although they are all understandable
responses, they will not help your child and since Autism is a life long
disorder for most children, you must take on the positive mind that your
child can be their own success story and whatever that may mean to him
or her.
Attitude is everything and while your child may have autism, this is
not WHO they are.
Labels are better on soup cans than children and we should use labels only for service purposes. I encourage you to truly view your
child as unlimited in possibilities, for the self-fulfilling prophecy
works both positive and negative - what we believe we become.
Your child is already very fortunate - you have taken the first steps
to awareness and education, and that is definitely a positive step in
the right direction. Allow your child to become that unlimited
possibility. |
